Monday, March 23, 2009

Memory Dump...

Today I was reminded about the fickle nature of the device I love. The computer that is. It does exactly what you tell it too. So they say. As a programmer I really don't think it always does what I say. I mean I tell it to build a binary search tree and output some numbers. It says okay. I click run and BOOM!

...

Wait a minute... I thought I told you too... I... *sniff* Well we'll leave out the part about crying and throwing the keyboard and such, but suffice it to say its frustrating. I think I should go into a little detail on the exact nature of this conversation between man and machine.

Alright PC I have a little task for you. I want you to store these numbers for me and print them back out to the screen.

PC: Alright just input the numbers and compile the program.

Okay here they are... now compile.

PC: Your program compiled successfully Way to go!

Yeah thanks! Alright lets run this program and...

PC: THE PROGRAM DETECTED SOMETHING REALLY BAD WHILE RUNNING YOUR CODE IT LOOKED A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

XXXFdffdlkjkas9 qakljajkzxxxxxidaof xoxiohasdjiofjofoos xiosioadfiojfdsosdioaio
xoijioadjiofjiofjof xoisdiofdjiojofsjiosd fdiofjiodfjioadjioa jfofooiiofdiojsjojiosiodf
askjjkldfjkldfkld cxxxxxxxx090880 xxxxxxxx90908 xxxxxxxxxxxx098980

IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN MAKING SUCH IDIOTIC MISTAKES YOU LOSER OF A PROGRAMMER. BETTER GO BACK AND PRACTICE YOUR "HELLO WORLD" PROGRAM LITTLE BOY!

Hey wait I thought we were friends!

PC: HAHAHAHAHA That comment has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.

-badooooooooooooooooommmmmmmm-

The following conversation is then proceeded by a couple hours until you find out a parenthesis was in the wrong place. Which begs the question. The computer can perform millions of calculations in less than a second... but it can't catch the intention of one parenthesis? Seriously I think computers should stop doing exactly what I tell them too and learn to anticipate what I mean for them to do. Wouldn't life be easier? Safer for that matter. FOOLPROOF internet filtering.

Hey I thought I would be going to semiDecentPriceShopping.com

PC: Nope bad advertisements and since I know you were looking for a new videocard I found a site with a better price and better setup.

Wow thanks PC

PC: Don't mention it.

Super Spelling checking. Gone would be the days of being able to type "Microsoft the Company should big improve their grammar checker" without a single error. In fact the PC would fix it for you. After all it knows what I am thinking. And of course Programming would be much easier.

Alright I am ready to go!

PC: Wait a minute, you need to add an & sign next to that variable or this program won't function.

Oh you are right! Good now it will work.

PC: Yep

It would be a good world. Sure there would be annoyances, sure there is the ever present danger of AI taking over the world, but at least it would be convenient. Oh wait... what about video games....

PC: And that is my 100th win in a row on Command & Conquer, Good Game owner

yeah... right...

Okay Maybe not... Maybe I need to be more patient and learn how to program more correctly the first time... Or maybe I just need to improve the strength of my monitor punching arm. hmm.

Speaking of punching I need to go do some programming so I will have to be back later. CYA

2 comments:

  1. Wow, I got lost just in your conversation with your computer. haha

    ReplyDelete
  2. There are a few other things that I would like to read my mind! And maybe a few other people, too!

    ReplyDelete